Why?
by Agent Jaid
Summary: Jaina finally realizes that Zekk is her soulmate, only one problem. She's sent him away...


**Author: **Jaid Ziaen

**Rating:** G

**Summary**: Jaina realizes she is in love with Zekk, what can she do with the one who holds her heart in his hands gone?

  
**Disclaimer: **The song is written by a friend of mine and does not (as of yet) have a title; Jaina and Zekk are George Lucas's, the plot is mine. I'm not making any money off of this. *sigh* 

**********************************

****

****

**Why?**   
_  
  
Are you okay?   
I'm scared   
For you   
Of you   
_  
She stared quietly out at the driving rain, the gray skies, the green forests. Her concentration was on every drop of water that ran past her window.   
  
On anything other then Zekk.   
  
Where was he?!   
_  
What sort of pain   
Has made you insane   
_  
His life was hard yes, almost a living hell. But to just leave?   
  
Without a word? Without a sign?   
  
Without a goodbye?   
_  
What can you gain?   
Why are you doing this?   
_  
She choked on a sob.   
  
Why, Zekk? Why?   
  
_I'm scared   
For you   
Of you_   
  
She threw herself backwards and landed on her bed.   
  
Tears clawed at the backs of her eyes. Screams were trapped in her throat.   
  
Her heart seized in dread as she remembered snatches of the conversation she had heard.   
  
"…_Sleeping in alleyways_…"   
"…_Having no home_…"   
"…_Living in streets_…"   
"…_Sneaking into homes_…"   
  
Her chest hurt. A burning coal sat where her heart had been.   
  
One thought filled her mind. One thing consumed her.   
  
Zekk…   
_  
Please don't be hurt   
I've got cushions   
You've got dirt   
Why aren't you home?_   
  
She rolled off of her bed, the comforter holding the indention of her body for a few moments before rising to its original fluffiness.   
  
Walking to the door took all her strength; tears blurred her eyes, her muscles burned.   
  
She collapsed and lay on the cold stone floor.   
  
Sobs racked her body.   
  
_I'm scared   
For you   
Of you   
Is this real?_   
  
Her mind hurt, frozen by the possibility that he might never come back.   
  
With the knowledge that even if he came back, he would leave and hurt her even more.   
  
She curled into the fetal position and rocked her self gently, her sobs quieter.   
_  
Are you faking?   
How do you feel?   
_  
So many times she saw him, so many times she reached for him, so many times her fingers met only air.   
  
So many times her heart shattered anew.   
_  
Please be joking   
I hate lies   
But lies are nothing   
This can be more  
_  
More then anything she wanted to be dreaming.   
  
For Uncle Luke to be lying. For Jacen to be unaware. For her heart to be dead.   
  
Lies… how she wished for them to be lying… just this once.   
  
Just this once.   
_  
Helplessness to despair   
Why must you do this?   
_  
Her mind raced from idea to random idea. Grasping at straws. Pleading with the unknown.   
  
"Why, Zekk? Why?"   
  
The heart-broken question fell from her red lips.   
_  
I'm scared   
For you   
Of you   
What could make you   
Lose what you could have?   
_  
He wasn't coming back.   
  
She had lost it all. All she had. All she could have.   
  
She had lost him.   
_  
Is there something I could do?   
Where could you be?   
_  
She pored over maps.   
  
Over anything that might mention a place that Zekk might have gone.   
  
She needed him. Why hadn't she seen this?   
_  
Where will you be?   
When can I see?   
I'm scared!   
For you!   
Of you!   
_  
That night she tossed and turned. Her dreams filled with Zekk.   
  
Her dreams…   
  
The one place in her life that Zekk would ever walk again.   
_  
Do you know what you've done?   
Don't tell me 'it's fun'!   
I hate lies   
But please be lying   
_  
The tears came again. She hated it when he lied.   
  
But she found herself praying that he had been lying when he told Uncle Luke he would never return.   
  
He had lied.   
  
He couldn't have told the truth.   
  
He couldn't have.   
_  
Not on the ground   
Help yourself   
Be okay   
_  
She would have died for him. She would have done anything.   
  
Now she had to let him go.   
  
And it was killing her.   
_  
I'm scared   
For you   
Of you   
_  
She looked at the drink she held in her hand.   
  
Its fairly opaque color glimmered in the cold harsh light of the moon.   
  
She put the cup to lips and tipped her head back.   
  
The liquid ran down her throat.   
  
The glass fell to the floor and shattered.   
  
She fell to the ground; the poison she had chosen had been potent.   
  
Jaina Solo was dead.


End file.
